Words....

What is a Word of the Year?

Well, instead of a "New Year's Resolution", which I don't know about anyone else, but I have never kept one my entire life!  A "word of the year", or "Intention Word", is a word that you will focus on for the entire year.  It will be a word that will spread through your life.  From how you care for yourself to how you prioritize events and even people in your life.  How you feel about yourself or how you act/react to how others feel about you.  It's not a goal it's just how you kind of look at things.   

I wrote down several words, each one contemplating if it should be my word of the year.  Some of the words I came up with were:

• Be
• Peace
• Joy
• Love
• Wellness
• Balance

All of those words spoke to me in one way or another but the word I decided on was "Worthy".  Why?  Because for many reasons I felt I was not worthy.  I was in a place in my head where I felt like I was not worthy of anything.  Not of love, joy, wellness, forgiveness or any of the other words I listed any many other words I didn't.

But I am.  And I started 2025 by telling myself that I am.  Sure I had days when I felt like a 2 pound bag of shit in a 1 pound bag.  In fact, I had many days!  But even when I was feeling depressed, or angry, or hurt or worried, or scared, I always remembered that I AM worthy.  

Feeling worthy isn't about arrogance or being perfect.  I think it means that I know, in my core, that I am lovable, smart, free, valuable....and that I am enough!  I spent a lot of my life feeling like I took up space.  Like I was small and didn't have a voice. I felt like I couldn't ever say no, even when it was what I wanted to say.  I have always been afraid of reaching out and asking for help.  Probably because so many times I was let down when I did ask.  Don't ask, don't get hurt, right? 

This year has been a year of growing for me.  It's not something I come out and openly discuss but I'm also not ashamed to talk about it either.   Lots of things swirl around in this ole head of mine and there were MANY times it was extremely hard to cope in life.  I have worked hard, though.  It's becoming easier to ask others for help. (Though it's still flippin' hard!)  It's actually something I consciously have to make myself do!  The year isn't over yet and I'm still working on me.  But what I have realized through everything is that I AM WORTHY.....

• of love
• of respect
• of dreaming
• of every emotion I feel!
• of forgiveness
• of letting go
• of healing
• and also, that I am even worthy of selfishness!